What is domestic and dating abuse?
The National Network to End Domestic Violence defines domestic and dating abuse as a pattern of coercive, controlling behavior that can include physical abuse, emotional or psychological abuse, sexual abuse, or financial abuse (using money and financial tools to exert control). Domestic and dating violence can happen to anyone, rich or poor, young or old, gay or straight.
How do I know if it is abuse?
Abuse can take many forms. This power and control wheel may help you see other forms of abuse.
How can I know if someone will be abusive?
There is no real way to know who will be abusive, but most abusers share some common characteristics.
Some of the warning signs include:
They insist on moving quickly into a relationship.
They insist that you stop participating in activities that you enjoy or spending time with your friends or family.
They are controlling and jealous.
They do not take responsibility for their actions or behaviors. It is always the fault of someone else.
They criticize and put down their partner.
Any one of these behaviors does not mean that the person is abusive but it's important to know the red flags and proceed with caution.
Can men be the victim of domestic and dating violence?
Both men and women can be victims of domestic and dating violence, but women are reported as victims of domestic and dating violence over 90% of the time.
What is a protective order and how can it help me?
Check out our page devoted to this topic by clicking here.
What if my partner and I are the same sex?
Domestic and dating violence can happen in any intimate relationship.
I am a male survivor, are domestic violence services still available to me?
YES! Crisis Intervention Services believes that ALL victims deserve to be provided with support and assistance, regardless of gender.
Where can I go for help?
Our Sister Program:
Family Crisis Center
Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-464-8340
1014 North Elm Street
Ottumwa, IA 52501
Great links to information and resources:
VINE (Victim Information and Notification Everyday) is a service through which victims of crime can use the telephone or Internet to search for information regarding their offender's custody status and register to receive telephone and email notification when their offender's custody status changes.
IPONDA is a free, confidential and anonymous information and notification system that tracks the service and expiration of a protective order. IPONDA was created to provide information, notification, and peace of mind for petitioners who wish to know when their protective order is served or about to expire.
Crime Victims Compensation
Crime Victim Compensation is a government program to reimburse victims of violent crimes - such as assault, homicide, rape, and in some states, burglary - as well as their families for many of their out-of-pocket expenses.
What do I need when I leave?
If you are leaving an abusive situation, take your children and, if possible, your pets. Put together the items listed in the printable link below. Hide them someplace where you can get them quickly, or leave them with a friend. If you are in immediate danger, though, leave without these items.